Living Life Fully’s Daily Pick-Me-Up

I’ve seen lots of definitions of success, and the ones that I feel most comfortable with are those that talk about success being a result of doing things for others, of doing things that one really feels called to do, of taking risks and doing the best one can do no matter what the outcome.  As a teacher, I feel a great sense of success when I see a student (or two, even!) “get it,” and suddenly realize something very important.  I feel successful when I see a student’s writing improve over the course of the year to a point at which the writing is quite good and the student’s confidence in his or her writing is very high.

I’m not at all attracted to a type of success that would gain me fame and fortune.  While there are certain advantages to both fame and fortune, I don’t feel called in that direction at all.  I feel a calling to work one-on-one with people to help them reach inside and find the talent, the ability, the skills that have been buried for so long.  And when I see that happen, I feel very successful.

The most successful people I’ve known in life have been those who have followed their callings, their gifts, and have done what their hearts guide them to do.  These people aren’t in the news or on the covers of magazines, but they’re held dearly in the hearts of people who love them and who appreciate all that they’ve done for them.  And on the day I day, whether that be tomorrow or forty years from now, I want to look back on my life and feel that I’ve used my God-given gifts to contribute to the lives of others in ways that have been truly unique to me.

My success doesn’t depend upon recognition or reward.  It doesn’t depend on financial gain or material wealth.  My success comes as the result of giving all that I can give to people who have need of what I can offer, and doing so without thinking of rewards or recompense.  Because if success is to be the result of giving, then shouldn’t that giving be unconditional?

Most people see success as being rich and famous or powerful and influential.  Others see it as being at the top of their profession and standing out from the rest.
   The wise see success in a more personal way; they see it as achieving the goals they have set for themselves, and then feeling pride and satisfaction in their accomplishments.  True success is felt in the heart, not measured by money and power.
   So be true to yourself and achieve those goals you set.  For success is reaching those goals and feeling proud of what you have accomplished.

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Now that school’s about to start again, I’m beginning to think about the concepts of learning and teaching a lot harder.  What do those terms mean?  Is it actually possible to teach anyone anything?  I had a professor once who said it wasn’t–he said that he couldn’t teach us anything.  He could only tell us what he knew, and it was up to us to learn or not.  At the time, I didn’t quite get what he was saying–it seemed like a bit of a cop-out, to be honest.  But now I really understand his meaning, and I have to say that I agree with him.

School isn’t really about teaching, when all is said and done.  School is about learning, and trying to get kids to want to learn.  If we can accomplish that, then there’s a lot that they can accomplish–for learning is something that anyone can do.  But if they don’t want to learn, then guess what?  They won’t.  It’s hard to reconcile that fact sometimes, for the teachers are there to teach, and one of the greatest frustrations of all for teachers is having to deal with students who don’t want to learn.

Life is a learning experience, all the way through.  It’s actually a series of learning experiences that never ends until the day we die.  And who knows?  There’s a good chance it doesn’t even end there.

So what have you learned today?  You’ve had opportunities to learn new things–what have they been?  I hope that when you get the chances to learn, you take them.  It definitely is true that the more we learn–about the world, other people, ourselves–the brighter and fuller we can make our lives.  Teachers are all about us, all the time.  We just have to be receptive learners if we want to take advantage of what they have to offer.

Learning is not attained by chance.  It must be sought
for with ardor and attended to with diligence.

Abigail Adams

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I just read an article about how many college students are applying for and receiving food stamps and other types of aid.  This in itself doesn’t really seem surprising, since many students are quite poor and struggle a lot to get by.  What struck me more than anything else, though, was what one girl said about her situation.  She said that with her wages, she wasn’t able to afford both food and her cell phone, so she had to apply for food stamps.  In other words, with the money she’s earning she finds it more important to pay for her cell phone than to buy food.

Both my wife and I had the same response:  Get rid of the stupid cell phone!  Human beings have gone thousands of years without having the luxury of cell phones or text messages or special ring tones, and there’s no reason in the world why we can’t continue to do so.  But somehow or another, people aren’t being taught to make decisions based on common sense any more–most decisions that people make these days seem to be about what they want, rather than what they need.

I’m not against cell phones at all.  They’re pretty handy in their own ways, and they can serve important functions.  But are they necessary?  If I had to make a decision as to whether I would have a cell phone or whether I’d be able to eat, guess which decision I’d make?  It seems rather simple to me, but I guess it isn’t so cut-and-dry for everyone.

We all have decisions to make in life, all the time.  If we’re going to make decisions that lead us to happier and more fulfilling lives, it’s important that we pay attention to the decision-making process.  It’s important that we learn how to weigh the options and foresee the potential results of each option, rather than arbitrarily making decisions based on what our wants are currently.  If we can do that, then we’ll find that our decisions get a bit easier to make, and that the results of our decisions will make our lives much more pleasant.

What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient.

Bodie Thoene

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I just watched an episode of a television series in which two characters were trapped in the Antarctic.  A rescue mission was being sent from a base some fifty miles away, and soon we see the rescuers arriving to save them.  Amazingly enough, with the rescuers arrive the characters who had contacted them, who somehow had made it from Colorado to the Antarctic in the same amount of time as the people who had come from fifty miles away.

There is most definitely a dearth of creativity in the world of entertainment these days, and since most of us are exposed to that world very often, we’re constantly being exposed to pretty lame excuses for creativity.  Movies that otherwise are pretty good end with stupid shooting scenes in which the heroes aren’t hit by a single bullet even though thirty men are shooting at them–but they kill all thirty of the other guys.  Someone who’s a college professor gets involved in a chase with criminals or the police, and somehow navigates the crowded streets of a major city better than a race car driver could.  People who are otherwise are intelligent walk stupidly into situations–or dark rooms–even though they know someone else just got killed there.

I guess this isn’t really such a big deal, but I think it does affect us in negative ways.  It’s kind of like being desensitized to violence–since we see so much of this poorly made stuff that’s supposed to be creative and artistic, we start to believe that this stuff really is creative.  But it’s not–it’s simply poorly trained people trying to give audiences what they think they want, which really ends up being stuff that’s already been seen in other movies or on other TV shows, or that’s already been read in other books or stories.

Creativity, though, comes from our hearts, and is not determined by what people want to see.  Our creativity is a reflection of our spirits, if we truly allow our spirits to shine through in all that we do.  Don’t give your own creativity short shrift–nurture it and develop it, accept it and love it.  That way, you’ll allow yourself to be creative, rather than just creating copies of things that other people already have done.  And if you ever make a decent movie, find a creative way to end it rather than depending on formulas to end the movie for you.  You’ll be proud when you do, and many people will appreciate seeing something new and different–for a change.

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I passed a hitchhiker on the road today.  I felt a bit bad doing so, but I made a firm decision several years ago not to pick up hitchhikers any more.  I had had a couple too many awkward–and potentially dangerous–situations develop with people that I had chosen to give rides to, and I had read a few articles about people who had picked someone up and ended up getting killed by their new passengers.  So I decided that it wasn’t worth the risk–while I prefer to be a trusting person, I know absolutely nothing about any person who’s standing at the side of a road.  Life’s much safer this way, and while I do feel the urge to help someone out, even a stranger, the fact is that the cab of a car is a bit too small for me to be comfortable any more with complete strangers right there at my side.

I tried to give blood the other day.  During the interview, it came out that I had lived in Germany while I was in that Army, and because of the time I spent there I’m no longer eligible to donate blood.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that my military service would keep me from donating blood, but there it was–I was turned down because I lived on an Army base in Germany more than 15 years ago.  It seems they don’t know enough about mad cow disease to clear people in my situation, and there are no tests to find out if I might have contacted it or not.

I teach at a high school, and I fairly often hear stories that make me uncomfortable about parents and siblings and family situations.  Unless there’s a legal issue involved, though, I really can’t do anything about what I hear.  Even then, all I can do is report what I hear to someone else.  I can’t do anything myself other than try to be there in a positive way for the young person I’m talking to.

I learned a while ago that I can’t help everyone, and life keeps pointing this fact out to me over and over again.  I don’t feel helpless or cheated, though, because I know that’s the way life is, and I accept it.  I most certainly would like to be able to help more people in more ways, but I’m only one person with limited resources and a limited range of influence.  So I keep on keeping on, doing what I can, and not doing what would complicate my life and the lives of others.  Once we accept the limitations inherent in being a member of the human race, then we can start focusing on those things that we actually can affect, and then we can enrich our lives.  That sure beats spending time being frustrated or resentful because of things we can’t do, doesn’t it?

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My wife and I have a habit that I like.  We don’t have any sort of TV reception–no cable or satellite–so we basically watch only DVD’s that we rent.  The habit that I like is watching something that we find funny with dinner–it’s a great way to wind down after a long day, and the laughter is like a balm that allows us to feel better and to enjoy ourselves.  Since it’s just the two of us for dinner, we’re not missing the family time for dinner (we never had the TV on at dinner time while my step-kids were still living at home) and we’re using the time to enjoy ourselves and find something to laugh at.The laughter is something that’s very important to us.  Laughter is one of the most important things in the world, and it’s great to laugh at something funny every evening.  It’s a very relaxing feeling, one of letting go a bit and enjoying ourselves.  We’re careful not to choose programs that don’t try to get laughs by insulting or humiliating others, for we don’t find that at all funny.  Rather, we find shows that we know we like, that we know we can laugh at, and that we know are going to lighten our spirits.

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I read a line recently that went something like this:  “See what’s really in front of you rather than what you believe is in front of you.”  It’s a weak paraphrase, but it got me to thinking about just how much our beliefs interfere with our realities.  If I see a guy who’s dressed a certain way or acting a certain way, then my belief system kicks in and it’s very easy for me to judge this person.  But who is this guy really, and why is he acting this way?  If my beliefs don’t allow me to find out the answer to these questions, then what purpose are my beliefs really serving?

When I see a tree, I recognize it as a tree because I’ve developed a belief system about how trees should be.  The same goes with cats and cacti and worms and birds and pretty much everything else that’s in front of me.  I name it, I categorize it, and I give it a nice little name that conforms to what I believe it is.  “That’s a dog,” I say, and that’s that.

But does my belief system keep me from seeing more deeply?  Does it keep me from trying to learn more about something that’s in front of me just because I’m comfortable enough with what I believe it to be?  What’s really in front of me on the molecular level?  On the atomic level?  On the spiritual level?  People from one culture might see the dog as a holy sign, while people from other cultures may see lunch.  There are so many different ways of seeing anything that it seems a shame that we limit ourselves from seeing the beauty and holiness and amazing qualities of almost everything just because once we define it within our beliefs, we stop seeing past the surface.  And past the surface is where things just start getting good!

So is that really just a coffee cup?

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I have less than a week left of summer break, and then it’s back to school for another year.  My major impulse at such a time is to take advantage of the free time as much as I can, to go hiking and to enjoy the outdoors and everything that’s available to me while I have the time off.  But that’s not how I’m spending these days.  Instead, I’m working on preparing the first quarter’s lesson plans, trying to make sure that I have everything planned for at least the next nine weeks so that I don’t have to worry about that at all once classes start.  It sounds like not a very effective way of living life fully, doesn’t it?  After all, I’m not sucking the marrow out of life while I have the chance, but sitting at home working on lesson plans.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  There are a lot of students out there who are counting on me to present effective classes in which they’ll learn new things.  Many of them are hoping to go on to college, and the classes that I teach definitely will be helpful to them there.  There are parents and administrators who rightfully expect teachers to be prepared, and I really shouldn’t let them down, especially since they’re completely justified in their expectations of us teachers.

Sometimes it’s more important for us to spend time preparing for the future than it is to spend time hiking or bungee jumping or traveling around the world.  There are times when we’re called to be ready for something very important, and it’s up to us to make ourselves ready.  When we watch the Olympics in a few weeks, we ought to keep in mind the amazing amounts of time that the athletes have spent preparing for their events.  When we see a good presentation at work, we should realize that the presenter probably sacrificed other opportunities in order to work on the presentation.  Sometimes the way that we can live our lives to the fullest is to prepare for the coming moment, rather than trying to make something special of the current moment.  My day today was spent working on scheduling and typing, but I would have loved to have been hiking up a mountain or something like that.  Four weeks from now, though, when school is under way, I’ll be very glad that I spent my today on preparation, for then I’ll be able to live that day in the future much more fully and much less stressfully because of the time I took on this day.

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What kinds of kindness did you unleash upon the world today?  Were you polite to someone who was overworked, who could use kindness and politeness to brighten his or her day a bit?  Did you give a little something to someone who could use it?  Did you give someone cuts in line, or allow someone to merge into traffic ahead of you?  Perhaps you paid a sincere compliment, or helped someone out with something they needed help on?

No matter what form your kindness took, it certainly was welcome in this world of ours.  Kindness is a soothing balm, a piece of heaven here on earth.  When we show kindness, we’re contributing in a positive way not only to the life or lives of the person or persons to whom we show the kindness, but we’re also contributing to the overall positive energy of the world as a whole.  And who knows–perhaps someone witnesses our kind act and decides to show a bit of kindness themselves, causing a ripple effect from one small act of kindness.

Our kindness doesn’t need to be earth-shattering.  It doesn’t need to affect thousands of people.  Our kindness can be diverting our step so as not to step on a bug, and that act to spare a life is still a positive act in the world.  Kindness, though, is your choice–and most of us choose to be kind only on special occasions or when we see that someone really needs it.  Kindness shouldn’t be limited to certain times or places, though–we improve our lives and the lives of others when we show kindness, so why not show it as often as we possibly can?  It doesn’t take much effort usually, even though it’s a force that truly can change the world for the better when we employ it.  I know that I often lose chances to be kind–leaving the supermarket without saying something nice (other than “Thanks.  Have a nice day!”), driving to work without letting other drivers merge into traffic, not showing interest in someone else’s life or job or situations.  Perhaps when I learn to take advantage of those opportunities, my life will improve as I add to the amount of positive energy I share with the world. . . .

We restore the holiness of the world through our loving-kindness and compassion.  Everyone participates.  It is a collective task.  Every act of loving-kindness, no matter how great or small, repairs the world.  All those ever born have shared this collective work since the beginning of time.

Rachel Naomi Remen

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My wife and I just watched the film Lean on Me for the first time a couple of days ago, and I found it to be an extremely moving portrayal of many people in a system who were caught in very difficult circumstances–and who had to make some very difficult decisions in order to bring about change where change most definitely was needed.  And while I wasn’t completely comfortable with all the methods and decisions that were made, it was very obvious that the extreme situation–a high school that had become ultraviolent with almost no order at all–called for extreme measures.

Sometimes in our lives–rarely, but still sometimes–we may be called to make the hard decisions.  We may be put into situations in which the easy decisions will lead to ineffective, or even harmful, results.  And in those times, it’s important that we keep in mind that if a hard decision is called for, we may be the persons who have to make it.  It may be unpopular and it may lead people to dislike us or be suspicious of us, but we still need to try to keep in mind that the right needs to be done, and someone has to do it.  And what are we doing to ourselves if we don’t do what’s right because we’re afraid of what people might say or how they might react?

In the film, we watched a man who had to do some very difficult things.  He alienated others and angered them and even made enemies because he was doing what was right in the best way that he knew how.  Others might have done things differently, but he did things how he did them and he stuck to his convictions.  And in the end, which is what counts the most, he knew that no matter what the outcome he could be satisfied and content because he knew that he had done the best that he knew how, and he hadn’t backed down when the pressure on him grew.

In my life, I hope that I always can feel that way–that I’ve done what’s right no matter what, and that I haven’t buckled to pressure to avoid doing the right, or even to do something wrong. . . .

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